“For G-d’s sake will you just do me a favor and take my advice for once in your life! Few people have been as many places as I have been, done the things I have done, or had the experiences I have had. So for once in your life can you just do me a favor and take MY advice for a change. We both know I know so much more than you not to mention being so much smarter than you are.”
Back in July of 2014, I wrote an article where I made strong reference to the late Abigail Van Buren better known to millions as the beloved advice give Dear Abby. Dear Abby made her living giving advice to the lovelorn, forlorn and others who sought her advice on how to solve one problem or another that they were having. Unlike the arrogant egotistical know it all above, Dear Abby only offered advice on subjects she knew about plus had the sense not to force her opinions upon anybody. She knew what spots to pick.
Offering advice can be a nice gesture on your part that really helps somebody out. The advice giving process tends to get a little sticky when your advice is unsolicited. When you do that you run the risk of incurring somebody’s wrath for butting into their business. If you are one of those people who like nothing better than to get involved when they are not asked to, you better make sure you know beyond a shadow of doubt you are well versed in the matter at hand. If you are not, and your counseling effort goes bad to a point where there is an adverse effect, make sure you have a good lawyer.
Being approached for advice on matters involving the entire spectrum of a person’s professional life is quite common in my line of work. In my case, I am very careful in what I say to people so that I don’t mislead them or offer up false hope. On many occasions, when I have been unsure as to what to advise, I let the person know I am not the right party to answer their question but they may want to seek out answers from a friend, spouse, social worker or their local religious leader.
One example would be if somebody were to ask me which of the multiple offers they should take. The only advice I would feel comfortable offering up I simply to tell them go with the one that most appeals to them. For me to tell them to take offer “A’” over offer “B” is to thrust myself into what could be a very “ticklish” situation meaning no matter what offer I tell them to take they could very well come back at me later on if things don’t work out. In other words, I am telling that person to do what they feel is best for them.
Don’t get me wrong by inferring that I am saying not to try to help out another person especially at a critical time in their life when they really need help. We are taught to care and to try to help wherever possible. Turning our backs on somebody in their time of need due to fear of legal or other ramifications is wrong! If it were you that needed help and you turned to the person(s) that you thought could or would help only to be spurned for fear of getting sued or unfriended would leave you confused as to what happened or put a very bitter taste in your mouth.
Here are some last pieces of advice on the matter of giving advice. Number one, what subject are you being asked for advice on and how familiar are you with this subject? Number two, before you present your advice be sure to think it through. Number three, is do not get upset or angry if your advice is not taken. As I’ve previously stated, at the end of the day, people will do and have to do what they feel is best for them, not what you feel is best for them.
Lastly, face up to the fact that you do not know everything nor should you try to convince somebody that you do. If you should happen to be made aware of a situation you think you can help with or would like to try to help with your approach should be one of concern with a genuine interest in helping.
“Do me a favor and take my advice Will Ya!” Do yourself a favor before you give advice that you want others to take and follow through with make sure you yourself have followed solid advice that was provided to you. If you can’t do that, my advice would be DON’T GIVE ADVICE since you have shown all you want is control over another person.
Joel Elveson is an Independent Executive Recruiter – Headhunter with Independent Executive Recruiting By Joel which is a firm Joel started under the guise there is a more “user friendly” way to go about the staffing & recruiting process.
As a “veteran” of the insurance & mortgage industries Joel always strove to find the best solutions for his clients while providing his employers with “value added” service.
From those vantage points Joel became keenly aware of what separated a bad employee from a good employee. In addition to the above Joel learned the intricacies of each business and what made each “tick”.
Joel Elveson took his love of insurance, mortgage, banking and lending which he then translated into a more meaningful way to do business.
Independent Executive Recruiter – HH Headhunter
Independent Executive Recruiting By Joel
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